something bad is just happening to me....and guess wat...of all things..my depression is back....wahahahha....one min i will be crying the other i will be laughing like a moron....take last week for an example....i dunno wat happen to me but i was so pissed off with ariel that when we reached guan....dunno wat funny thing she did that woke me up from my nap in the car....i just blew my head off that i started screaming and shouting....(not surprising right for me to do so.)..the thing is....i kept laying hands on muhself...i keep whacking my head cuz i keep telling myself cannot beat ariel....then she did not wanna wear her shoes and so i took her shoes and slap my head several times...my head was like exploding liaox....imagine a big man like dearie would also be scared.....i only know i was out of my mind then...dearie said it was becuz i tolerated and kept things to myself hence, exploded.....watever the excuse is....i know i am going crazy....just that i cannot control myself till i take my pills...i dun wanna depend on this things....but i dun think i have a choice though....god pls teach me wat to do....

that night i called my sister.....i cried nowing that she was just worried about me hitting ariel.....the next day....my beng called my aunt and she also thought the same way.....can anyone just think that i am in dangernow and not the girl...or is it so long as the girls are safe....hack care me....i dunno leh...i really wanted to talk to my aunt or sis at times but i just dunno how to tell them wat am i thinking.....i fcuking useless lar....aniways...thanks dear that u are there for me....thanks for the time when i scared u yet u willingly gave me ur promise and concern.....thank god for u.....