• cried profusely nonstop for nothing...i mean nothing.....
• kept thinking how useless i was....not even able to make it for my once a month checkup....
• hurt myself again ...banged muh head on the wall.....
• using the shower and bathe with cold water trying to wash away my temper...with muh clothes on
• using my keys to make a big sccratch on muh tigh and now is all bruised

nonsense...rubbish and hysterical acts i've done on muhselve....what the hell i was thinking....dearie was patient to keep trying to calm me down....i just cried till i felt super tired and sleepy.....why is this happening again ...i still get no answers just a big big crazy to decribe

went to jp yesterday with ting ....poured out all the nonsense to her...had a full full japanese meal aand all unhappiness just blew away like that...dearie was kind enough to let me go have some "me" time for that few hours and he stayed home to look after the kids....=)

conclusion from ting....maybe i just kept cooping muhself at home doing same old routines everyday and i am bored or stressed till i kept everything to muhself and once i hit the limit...i blew......

feeling super guilty that i blew up just like that...scared the kids and dear le....sorry....sorry

Labels: depression or just madness??